Helpless
by tourniquetkid
Summary: Joanne hated feeling helpless. Multichapter MoJo fic. Takes place preRENT. Read and Review please?
1. Chapter 1

Notes: Aimee belongs to me...Joanne belongs to J. Larson, it's a nice give and take.

Rated: T, cuz its relatively harmless

Paring: J/Outside character, J/M

This is all Pre-Rent

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Joanne hated feeling helpless. As a child, she had been fiercely independent, hell bent on learning by experience, and stubborn. In high school, she became competitive. She made straight A's, lettered in softball, and graduated valedictorian. She then went on to Harvard with a five-year plan set firmly in her mind. She knew she was going to become a lawyer; it was only a matter of time. She passed the bar exam the first time and within two years had become a partner at her father's law firm. Joanne's life had reached perfection. She had the apartment, the job, and the girl she had dreamed of.

But, as everyone knows about dreams, you have to wake up sometime.

"I can't believe you are doing this!" Joanne screamed. Her knuckles were turning white where she was gripping them on the kitchen chair. The target of her anger was her girlfriend, Aimee Mahn.

"Joanne, I love you. You know that! But I'm 25. This wasn't supposed to be serious." Aimee responded from her stance behind the counter in their kitchen.

"So you get into a relationship and then decide after a year that suddenly this isn't what you want? That you need to run?" Joanne controlled her voice this time. She could not lose her control, not in front of Aimee.

"Joanne, we were having fun and then we fell in love." Aimee used her psychiatry voice, the voice that had soothed many a patient. Joanne felt her resolve start to soften. "But Joanne, you have your practice here and I have this opportunity to travel the world and help people. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to stay together." Aimee watched as silent tears slipped down Joanne's face and felt as her own face mirrored those actions. She grabbed her bags and placed them outside the door.

"You need a ride?" Joanne asked her voice cracking.

"I-I called a cab." Aimee answered. Joanne watched as the bags and then Aimee slipped past the door, into the hall, and out of her life.

"Don't go." Joanne whispered softly to the closed door.


	2. Party Girl

"I'm bored. We need to get out of here." Tara, Joanne's best friend and college roomate, said. "We have hung out at your place for the past three months." Joanne shrugged and turned her attention back to the television. Tara walked across the living room and searched through the closet. She grabbed a jacket for herself and another outfit for Joanne. "Put these on. We are going to Moonlight's tonight. No complaining." The clothes landed with a thump on Joanne's lap. She grudgingly changed her clothes.  
"This has to be the first time in our history that I am dragging you to a gay club and not the other way around. I have enough trouble finding a guy!" Tara joked, trying to get a smile out of the stoic Joanne. "You are going to have fun. I promise." Tara said throwing her arms around Joanne. "You deserve fun."

There was no fun in sight.

Tara was over at the bar talking with the cute and straight male bartender. Joanne had given her a break about 10 minutes ago. She was perfectly capable of sitting at a table without someone sitting next to her. She watched the people all around her dance, or kiss, or just talk to each other. Every table held the promise of a new realtionship, except hers. She watched the couples move across the dance floor. It didn't seem possible that she and Aimee had been under those same lights just 4 months ago. There were older gray haired women dancing with other gray haired women, oblivus to the music, just enjoying each others company. There were others that were Joanne's age dancing suggetively, switching partners with each song. Then there were those that danced along the fringe of the dance floor, the couples. Joanne knew they were different, she had been one of them once. The couples stayed on the fray of the floor, not needing to be in the middle of the action in order to enjoy the music. The song playing was merely a backdrop, another way to be close to one another. Joanne felt herself being pulled back into the depression she had fought off so long. She ran her fingertips along the rim of her glass and just stared out on to the floor. Her attention became focused on a single girl. She had brown hair with curls that ran almost to the middle of her back. She had on a purple miniskirt that glittered in the lights of the club and a black halter that accentuated her body. Joanne soon realized she wasn't the only one entranced. A sort of circle had formed on the floor around her. The girl moved on her own accord, the music seeming to follow her rythm, not the other way around. Joanne faintly registered Tara passing by her on her way to the restroom. Joanne couldnt have looked away, even if she had wanted to. Every sway seem electric, Joanne could feel her body responding to every move of the girls hips. Her own almond eyes connected with the girl's emerald eyes sending a shock through her system. A person crossed the silent path between the two women, causing the connection to be broken. As quickly as it had happened the girl was gone. 


	3. I'll be at the bar

This chapter is dedicated to an awesome writer named Marks Girl who writes wonderful fics andbe on the look-out for our awesome story coming soon!

All my disclaimers from the first chapter still apply...dont sue me!

I know I promised this chapter would have Maureen, and it does...Kinda. I just really wanted to use Tara a little bit more before I concentrated on the Maureen Joanne goodness...

To the story...

Tara returned to the table only to realize that Joanne was completely oblivious to her presence.  
"You okay, Jo?" She asked, worried about her friend. 'Maybe coming here hadn't been the best idea.' She thought to herself.  
"Huh?" Joanne asked, snapping back into reality. "I'm fine, Tar." Joanne replied, turning away from the dance floor to face her friend. "I just got distracted."  
"Who? Is she cute?" Tara asked searching around the dance floor.  
"She's gone." Joanne answered. This was a positive sign Tara decided. Joanne hadnt even mentioned anyone since Aimee had taken off for the mid-west.  
"She left?" Asked Tara, a little confused.  
"No," Replied Joanne, sounding distracted."She dissapeared. I mean, well maybe, I don't know"  
"She really did a number on you, Jo. Did you talk to her? What's her name?" Tara asked, finishing off the last sips of her Tom Collins.  
"She was dancing and then somebody passed and she dissapeared." Joanne explained. "She might have left, I don't know."  
" What did she look like?" Tara asked. A smile appeared on Joanne's face then as quickly as it had appeared, it vanished. Joanne couldn't think about another person the way she had thought about Aimee, the pain was still very much there. But that girl, she had pushed every thought of Aimee away for the first time in as long as Joanne could remember.  
"Well, she's white. She has brown curly hair and green eyes and is wearing a purple skirt" Joanne closed her eyes, the vision of the girl danced on her eyelids. She opened her eyes to see awide grinon Tara's face.  
"She might not be as dissapeared as you think." Tara nodded to an area somewhere behind Joanne. Joanne spun her chair around only to find herselfface to face withfabric. Her eyes traveled up the clothing until they connected with a pair of emerald eyes.  
"Hi." replied the owner of the eyes before looking towards Tara.  
Tara smiled and stuck out her hand to the other woman."Hi, My name is Tara and I am straight." She said laughing. She then adressed Joanne." I am gonna be at the bar."  
A few akward seconds passed before Joanne regained her bearings."Do you want to sit?"


	4. Forget Regret

Joanne wondered how the girl sitting across from her could not hear her heart. It was pounding so loud that Joanne could hardly think.

"I'm Maureen." The other girl smiled and said. "I'm sorry if I ruined your plans." She put out her hand and Joanne took it in her own, the handshake lingering longer than customary. Maureen's hand left their entanglement first as she leaned forward resting her elbows on the table and her head on her hands. "So what's you name?"

"Joanne." She replied.

"Joanne," Maureen repeated noticing how the letters played off her tongue and teeth. She imagined how the name would sound being moaned and smiled. "So Joanne, are you always this quiet?"

"Well, no." Joanne admitted. She wondered what had made Maureen smile a moment ago and if it had anything to do with her name. A name she really hadn't cared for until she heard Maureen say it. Aimee had always called her Joey, only saving Joanne for when she was upset. Aimee….

"There you go again." Maureen commented at Joanne's lapse into silence. "A club isn't really a great place to have deep thoughts."

"I'm sorry, Maureen, really. I usually am much better than this. I usually speak whole sentences, even compound sentences sometimes. I can even be funny. It's just….I haven't done this in a while." Joanne mirrored Maureen's actions resting her head on her hands.

"What? Sat and talked to a beautiful girl?" Maureen asked fishing for a well deserved compliment. She decided then and there that her project for the night would be to make this girl smile.

Frankly, Maureen had been ready to leave the club when she spotted Joanne. The whole scene had gotten boring. Any girl in this club she might have wanted she could have gotten easily (and had probably many times before), except for that one girl that had sat at her table all alone oblivious to everything around her, until her eyes had connected with Maureen's. The glance sent tingles down her spine and gave her a reason to stay.

"The dating thing," Joanne replied. "Looks like I'm not the only one having deep thoughts." She commented. Joanne desperately wished she could know what was going through Maureen's mind.

"This isn't dating Joanne, so don't worry. This is conversation, which usually is followed by drinks and dancing. Dating follows if you're lucky." Maureen replied then winked. A sudden wave of uncomfortableness swept through Maureen. This wouldn't be a one night stand. The idea of any sort of long term thing mad her antsy, always had, being tied down to one person just never had been her style. She felt uncomfortable again as she looked across the table and thought 'Maybe I wouldn't mind being tied down'.

"Okay Maureen, It's my turn to ask you a question. Do you work?"

"Well, kind of. I protest."

"A professional protester. What exactly do you protest?" Joanne asked intrigued. Of course, Maureen would have an exciting profession. Everything about Maureen seemed exciting compared to how boring and blasé Joanne felt.

"Well… the president, AIDS, anything that really pisses me off." Maureen listed as she counted the topics off on her fingers. "What do you do?"

"I generally make people's lives a living hell." Joanne quipped. Maureen responded with a slightly confused look. "I'm a lawyer." She explained.

"Mommy and Daddy must be proud, having a smart and beautiful girl like you." Joanne felt herself blush.

"Mostly," she admitted. "They always wished I would have gone to their alma mater though."

"Where did you go?" Maureen asked. Joanne noticed that Maureen's hands were now resting on the table, only inches from her own.

"Yale, but they had both gone to Harvard." She hated saying that. Saying she went to Yale always made her feel pretentious.

"Your family never does anything small, do they?" Maureen teased.

"I'm not rich." The words escaped Joanne's mouth before she had a chance to process them. She just didn't want Maureen to be scared away.

"Huh?" Maureen asked thoroughly confused.

"It's just, the whole Yale thing. I'm not rich. My parents have money, but I got a scholarship there. I have a fund set up in case I really need it, but I live in an apartment not far from here. I just didn't want you to think I was stuck up." Joanne sighed and gave a self effacing smile. "I'm sorry. I have issues."

"It's okay." Maureen answered. "You don't seem stuck up, and I'm not after your money."

"Good," Joanne replied. "'Cause I don't have much." Her ramble had gotten a load off of her chest.

Maureen looked at this girl sitting across from her. Deep brown eyes, an amazing body, hair that honestly she just wanted to pull in a way that would lead to more intimate things, smart as hell, yet Maureen could tell that Joanne was intimidated by her. Little things like the way she bit her lip or looked down if she was afraid she had said the wrong thing gave her away. 'I honestly couldn't care less if she had money' Maureen thought to herself.

"Do your parents know about you?" Maureen asked her hand grazed Joanne's as she reached for Joanne's drink.

"What about me? That I'm gay?" Joanne replied. Maureen nodded in reply sipping the drink. "Well, my first sexual encounter with a girl my parents happened to walk in on….so the answer is very much yes. You?"

"They aren't around enough to care. In high school though, they knew about my boyfriends and girlfriends."

"So…you aren't gay?" Joanne asked cautiously.

"I like people. What there hardware consists of really doesn't matter a whole lot to me." Maureen replied. She moved to rest her arm on Joanne's. "And believe me, you're 'people'." Maureen watched as Joanne did that irresistible little glance down thing she always did. Maureen nodded in the direction of the bar. "It looks like your friend is having a good night too." Joanne followed her gaze to where Tara was talking with the bartender. "I'm gonna go grab a drink. You want?" Maureen offered.

"I think I'm good." Joanne replied eyeing her drink. "Another one and I won't be responsible for my actions." She smiled at Maureen. Joanne felt good, more like her old self. This was the first time she had openly flirted since Aimee had left.

"That sounds like reason enough for another round." Maureen replied. She grabbed Joanne's now empty glass. Joanne felt Maureen's breath tickle her ear as she heard her whisper. "I'll be right back."

Tingles….No, Joanne decided. A tingle was not strong enough of a word to express what was surging through her body at that moment. Every single movement Joanne made left Joanne's body humming, sending the right messages to the right parts of her body.

'Wait.' Joanne's mind tried to rationalize. 'You just met her. You just got out of a serious relationship. You just had your heart broken. This is bad; this will lead to more pain and heartbreak. You must not do anything you will regret.' Another part within Joanne that she was fairly certain was not her brain responded with 'Forget Regret. Have you seen her in this mini-skirt?' Joanne knew she had been in love with Aimee. She never questioned that. However, she knew that Aimee had never left her body humming after just a conversation. Was this maybe her body's way of saying it missed the touch of another human?

"I leave for a minute, and you start thinking again." Maureen said grinning, setting a drink in front of Joanne and a matching glass in front of herself. "I talked to Tara. She said she loves you, and that she would call you tomorrow. I promised her I would get you home safe." Maureen contemplated sitting back down in the chair before finally holding her hand out to Joanne.

"Let's dance."


	5. Helpless

Joanne's mind was protesting as her body came into motion. She rested her hand in Maureen's and let her lead the way toward the dance floor. Maureen must have sensed her nervousness because Joanne felt her gently squeeze her hand. Once in the middle of the dance floor that Joanne had looked at so longingly earlier in the night, she couldn't believe what one night had brought her.

"Let me guess," Maureen said giving Joanne another not so subtle once over. "You were a dancer?"

Joanne smiled. "Actually, yes. I took a couple of years of ballet. You?" she asked.

Maureen smiled suggestively, taking Joanne's hands in her own and raising them above her head. As her hips swayed against Joanne's to the rhythm of the music now pulsing throughout the club, she whispered softly in Joanne's ear. "You're nervous." That was all it took for Joanne to almost lose control of her body. She had always prided herself on her control, but Maureen left her feeling, well, helpless. Joanne was not inexperienced when it came to this. Quite the contrary. She had dated, and had sex, said lines and gotten the girl. Only Maureen left her speechless.

"I'm sorry." Joanne replied. She turned to face Maureen, one hand playing with her long curls and the other resting on Maureen's hip. Her fingers traced lazy circles on the small piece of skin left exposed between her shirt and skirt. She had lost control of her hand as it subconsciously traced Maureen's hipbone, stopping at the seam of the skirt.

Maureen smiled at the contact, gently scratching Joanne's back with her fingernails as her hands traveled slightly under Joanne's shirt. She knew better than to push it with this girl. She felt the chills run through Joanne's body in response to her touch and she felt her own body surge knowing that it could have that effect on Joanne. "Don't be sorry," she responded. "It's cute." She felt another set of chills travel through Joanne's body and Maureen applied more pressure as she traced meaningless symbols into Joanne's back. 'How could she do that?' Joanne wondered. Sound completely sweet and innocent one moment and then turn her on by saying just the right thing. This girl exuded self confidence. Had she ever had one awkward moment her entire life? She tried to focus on the music, the beat, motor functions, anything at all. "If you think that's cute," Joanne replied softly. "I must be fucking sexy."

Joanne's breath hitched and Maureen smiled deliciously as her hand traced the outline of Joanne's cheekbone before finally settling around her neck, grasping Joanne and pulling her forward. "You are." Maureen responded her lips so close to Joanne's that it was hard to tell which set of lips had actually said the words. As their lips met, Joanne was faintly aware of her hands mirroring Maureen's actions, scratching at Maureen's shoulder blades, desperately trying to close any space that was left between them. Maureen broke from the kiss first, searching Joanne's eyes trying to gauge her reaction. She didn't want to pull this girl to far too fast. Joanne took the initiative this time, pulling Maureen toward her, kissing her. The kiss deepened and Maureen realized that maybe she had gotten the wrong impression. For lack of a better term, Maureen realized, Joanne knew exactly what she was doing. These lips were not inexperienced as they met with her own over and over again.

Internally, Joanne was a roller coaster of emotion. Her body responded as a body should when kissing someone as beautiful as Maureen. Her brain temporarily abandoned all logic letting the feelings caused by Maureen's lips on her own to rule. She slowed the pace of the kisses, from the short powerful ones she had initiated to slower more deliberate ones that she hoped would say everything that she wasn't sure she could verbalize.

The vision in Maureen's mind of her moaning Joanne's name almost became a reality as the pace of the kisses changed. Neither girl was aware of their hands traveling up and down searching each others bodies but somehow they came together as they broke away from the kiss for the second time. Maureen looked around only to find that once again she was the center of attention, with most of the dance floor cleared off, the inhabitants of Moonlight's stood transfixed at the sight of them dancing. "Good show." She said softly to Joanne, still trying to catch her breath.

"What?" Joanne asked, her brain still trying to reconnect the wires that had been shocked out of place.

"It looks like we got the last dance." Maureen explained. "It's closing time."

"Are you tired?" Joanne asked Maureen with a mischievous glint in her eye. There was no way the night was going to end so soon, not when she was feeling like she was.

"Not even." Maureen responded. She felt her pulse race as Joanne grabbed her hand and led her toward the door.

"I have an idea."


	6. Breaking and Entering

Joanne saw the puff of cold air escape her mouth once they exited the club, but if it was cold she couldn't feel it. Maureen grinned excitedly.

"Where are we going?" She asked tucking herself under Joanne's arm for warmth. Joanne rubbed Maureen's arms hoping the friction would help some. Maureen leaned forward till her face was mere millimeters from Joanne's. Her breath, warm even in the New York cold, heated Joanne's face. The kiss that followed warmed both girls to the core. They walked hand in hand for a couple of blocks, Maureen kept up a constant stream of chatter that Joanne found endearing.

Joanne stopped in front of a rundown market. Maureen could barely make out the sign that read 'Bailey's wholesale.'

"A wholesale store?" Maureen asked. "Joanne, I know you said you haven't dated in a while, but this isn't exactly-"

"Impatient!" Joanne chided. "This is only part one. We need to pick up supplies." She answered holding the door open for Maureen

"Supplies?" Maureen asked as she stepped inside. She was amazed by the sheer number of food options inside. She would have never expected anything like this from the look of the store. She smiled as she felt Joanne's hands on her hips and lips next to her ear. "Yes, supplies." As Maureen turned to try for another kiss Joanne took the opportunity to slide out of her grasp. Joanne made her way down the second aisle looking at the selection of fruits.

"Bananas or oranges?" Joanne asked, holding up both options.

"You." Replied Maureen.

"No…ok, how about this? Kiwis?" Joanne tried again, holding up the second option.

"I….want ….you." Maureen replied. She crossed to the other side of the aisle and grabbed an apple. "I like apples." She tossed the apple to Joanne who put it in her basket.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on or am I going to stand here picking fruits all night?" Maureen asked pouting.

"We are making a picnic," Joanne divulged, "but I can't tell you where we are going. Not yet." She passed Maureen on her way to the bread section. Maureen jumped in surprise as she felt a slap on her ass. She realized just how much alcohol had an affect on Joanne once it was properly absorbed in her system. Ms. Hot Shot Lawyer was a light weight, imagine that.

The grand total for their wholesale shopping adventure came to $157.39; a hell of a lot of money to spend on what Maureen realized was essentially a first date. They had purchased a blanket, a loaf of bread, the best wine in the store, different cheeses and meats, a kiwi and an apple. Joanne held the bag with their purchase as she now walked with a purpose deeper into the inner city. Maureen started to get more hesitant as she realized she recognized less and less of her surroundings.

"Are we close, Joanne?" she asked as they stopped in front of what looked to be a set of adjoined empty buildings.

"We're here!" Joanne said excitedly.

"Another food mart?" Maureen asked, trying to hold the disappointment from her voice. Joanne seemed positively giddy for whatever reason and she didn't want to ruin it. Not when Joanne looked so fucking adorable.

"No." Joanne replied looking up at the giant abandoned building. "This is Silhouettes. It's a theatre my parents took me to when I was a kid. They closed it down a few years ago, said it cost too much to keep up." Joanne had spent many a day during her childhood running through the aisles of the theatre. She had acted here once too she remembered. Joanne had been cast as a munchkin when she was 7 in the annual school play. She was jarred out of her thoughts hearing the scrape of iron against metal as Maureen tugged on the door.

"It's locked." Maureen replied. "Now what?" Joanne picked up a piece of wood that had splintered off from the crate that was next to her.

"The lock's rusted." She explained. "Apply the most force on the weakest spot and…" Her words mirrored her actions. "The lock pops open!" She held the rusted lock as proof.

Joanne cleared out the debris that littered the entrance to the theatre, and held the door open for Maureen. The theatre was dimly lit by the ghost lights on the stage. Maureen ran down the aisle touching the faded red velvet on the seats. It had been her dream for as long as she could remember to be on a stage in a theatre like this. She twirled like a little kid in the middle of the aisle.

"Joanne, this is perfect." Maureen wondered if even someone like Mark could have thought of doing something like this. Breaking and Entering on the first date. "Can't you get in trouble for this?" she asked realizing that they were essentially committing a felony.

"I'm a good lawyer." Joanne replied. Joanne really hadn't thought of the consequences. 'Cops don't come out here late at night' she rationalized. "Do you want to eat on the stage?" She asked. Joanne smiled. This had been a great idea. Maureen seemed completely enamored by the theatre.

"Yes!" Maureen squealed grabbing Joanne's hand. She led Joanne up the steps and wandered around as Joanne set out the blanket and food.

"Joanne, this is perfect." Maureen said sitting on the blanket across from her. "A felony for a first date."


End file.
